What are healthy ways to manage stress before it becomes overwhelming?

One friend described her levels of stress recently as a slow leak in a tire. There is no initial problem and the tire looks fine at first. But gradually air leaks out of the tire. Eventually the tire will become so flat that it will become a serious problem. But by then there will have been a time when her stress levels rose to a certain level and she would have had no idea. She said that one morning she woke up to find herself on the rim. She had been running on empty for some time without realizing it.

Most people have no idea that they are stressed until it is to late. They are stressed for a long time before they know it. Stress is a slow leak in a tire. The tire is still ridable for a very long time before it goes flat. Many people are riding on the rim of a “flat” tire and have no idea that it has gotten that bad.

As a stress management plan, this site focuses on helping you manage the stress before it starts to take over your life.

Listen to your body’s signals

Stress is not something that needs to be eradicated from the human body. In reality, stress is a symptom of our modern way of life. The body is designed to deal with a sudden shock of ‘stress’ and then return to a relaxed state. However, most people’s stress response hasn’t been turned off for years and is quietly draining their energy. Therefore, strategies to deal with stress need to work with the body’s natural responses, rather than against them.

Because the physical stress response is involuntary and happens before our mind has even registered that stress is present, stress management strategies have to work within the boundaries of this response. That is, they have to work with the physical stress response, rather than against it. A stress management strategy can include stress-reducing practices that temporarily soothe stressed out bodies and minds, like bubble baths or yoga, but a long term stress management strategy must include practices that intervene in the stress cycle and actually decrease the frequency and severity of stressful events over time.

Your Body First

Stress may also decrease your motivation to do exercise or physical activity, but even very short periods of moderate intensity physical activity can have an almost immediate positive impact on your body. Research finds that even a 20-30 minute walk at a brisk pace can dramatically reduce levels of stress hormones such as cortisol and dramatically increase levels of ‘feel good’ hormones called endorphins. Over the long term, regular physical activity can even reduce symptoms of stress as well as reducing levels of stress hormones and increasing levels of ‘feel good’ hormones. Of course, there are many other strategies for dealing with your mental health and for improving your overall wellbeing that require very little time and very little money.

Contrary to what many might assume, you don’t have to invest hours in the gym to utilize physical activity to combat stress and aid in your mental health. Studies consistently indicate that individuals reap the greatest benefits when incorporating moderate amounts of physical activity into their routines. For most, this will translate to twenty to thirty minutes of physical activity, such as going for a brisk walk. While most individuals immediately consider jumping into their most intense physical training when looking to exercise for mental health benefits, they often find that incorporating more moderate exercise into their routines delivers the greatest gains.For instance, studies have proven that walking can have an identical impact on stress and mood as that of many high-priced supplements.

The same should go for stress management in general: they should be small enough to become a habit that doesn’t generate even more stress in your life. This is also important for physical stress reduction. Many forms of physical exercise today have the form of a battle. This has to be different. There are many ways in which you can move your body without generating resistance or “friction” and therefore stress.

Sleep is not a luxury item

Sleep is a fundamental aspect of our lives that is often underappreciated. It is one of the most essential components for our health and when we sacrifice sleep in order to manage stress and life in general, we are setting ourselves up for failure. It is true that sleep does affect stress in some way, but the negative effects of chronic sleep deprivation far outweigh any positive effects it may have in regards to stress. People who are chronically sleep deprived have an extremely difficult time managing their emotions. They are poor at making decisions and are unable to function well under stress. In essence, individuals who are dealing with stress on a daily basis and are not getting adequate amounts of sleep are barely surviving and are not managing to deal with stress in a healthy manner.

Here is a graph that indicates how sleep can affect how stressed you are:

Sleep habit	Effect on stress	What to try instead
Scrolling screens until midnight	Suppresses melatonin, delays sleep onset	Screen-free wind-down 30–60 minutes before bed
Inconsistent sleep schedule	Disrupts circadian rhythm, elevates cortisol	Set a consistent sleep and wake time, even on weekends
Caffeine after 2pm	Delays deep sleep, increases nighttime anxiety	Switch to herbal tea or water after lunch
Working in bed	Trains your brain to associate the bed with alertness, not rest	Keep the bedroom for sleep only

That’s not to say that this is all a brand new concept or the latest and greatest cutting edge stuff – it’s all rather obvious really and we’re all probably treating our bodies less than optimally until we get to the point where our health begins to fail.

Mindfulness (But Not the Usual Kind)

The word mindfulness has been so abused in popular culture that it is usually completely meaningless. But the true definition of mindfulness is to pay attention to the present moment. Instead of constantly dwelling on the past events that have brought on stress or anxious thoughts of the future events that will surely bring on stress, instead of constantly rehearsing anxious scenarios, the true practice of mindfulness brings your attention to the present moment and the physical sensations that are occurring there.

There are many different practices that fall under the rubric of ‘mindfulness’, but essentially they all work to stop rumination. The kind of thinking that causes most stress is of two types: rehashing past mistakes over and over again in your head, worrying about what might happen in the future, and in the mean time going over and over in your head anxious calculations that you’ve already decided to stop thinking about. Once this sort of thinking starts, you usually can’t control it, but that’s exactly why mindfulness is so powerful: it can train your nervous system to recognize when you’re starting to fall into this pattern of thinking and stop it before it gets too far out of hand.

There are countless tools for you to use for practicing Mindfulness, such as Apps like Calm or Headspace to follow along with guided meditations. The timer on your phone can be set to a silence meditation. Find something that you enjoy and fit it into your busy schedule.

5) The people around you matter more than you’d think

Stress can be reduced by social contact with others. This does not have to be complaining to others about your problems and having them listen to you complain. Rather, it is spending time with people who make you feel good when you are with them. These could be close friends, great partners, great siblings or even great coworkers. Talking to others about what is going on in your life and getting support from them can help to make you feel less alone. Research has shown that human contact is the greatest stress reducer of all – far greater than any supplement or other productivity tool.

• Call someone instead of texting when you’re having a rough week
• Be honest about what’s actually going on, rather than defaulting to “I’m fine”
• Actively protect time with people who restore your energy, not only the ones who drain it
• Consider joining a community built around something you already care about

Persistent stress—stress that continues for weeks or even months—typically requires more than just reading a bunch of articles and practicing a few techniques. A good counselor can work with you to develop a list of stress-management techniques that fit your specific situation. Even if you feel that you are managing just fine, it is a good idea to speak with a counselor as soon as possible. The Counseling services listed at yourlifepathcenter.com can be a good place to start.

One more thing about the tire analogy

One of the metaphors that I enjoy for understanding how stress can affect us is the tire on a car. A tire that is leaking air can leak it slowly over time. We don’t care until it goes flat. And we can’t wait until the tire is flat and we’re driving on the rim of the tire before we start thinking about how to fix it. The same is true for the people who seem to be managing just fine until one day they’re not. The key to stress management is to make it a part of our regular maintenance for our lives, rather than trying to do it as crisis management.

You can practice stress management most effectively when you have the bandwidth to truly focus on it, and you can think of the practices you use as your tire pressure.You pay attention to it when it’s merely difficult to manage the tire pressure (as opposed to having a leaky tire and barely keeping your life on track already).

Don’t let the slow leak become a blowout. Pay attention to it. And yes, even this small decision is where it all starts.